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Abstinence
To many, saying no to sex sounds like an impossible task. However, more
and more people are deciding that sexual activity outside a faithful
marriage relationship is not worth the risk.
What is abstinence?
Abstinence is choosing to say no to sexual activity of all kinds until
marriage. This includes heavy petting and oral sex, since STDs can be
spread by these activities as well. Abstinence is a decision that takes
maturity and self-control. Consider the benefits:
- No worries about pregnancy
- No need for birth control or worries about it failing
- No concerns about STDs or their physical risks
- No emotional baggage to take into marriage
- No ruined reputation
- No concerns that your partner is just in it for sex
Handling Temptation
There is an expression that says, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to
fail." In other words, if you don't have a plan, you may not be
prepared to handle temptation when it comes (and it will)!
Temptation is natural, but we don't need to be trapped by it. Consider
the "danger zones" that lead to sex for many people:
- Being alone in a private place together
- Dating a person who does not respect you and puts pressure on
you to have sex
- Wearing seductive clothing
- Being around someone who flirts excessively
- Watching sexual shows, videos, or magazines
- Alcohol or drugs
- Being too physically tired to resist
Dealing with Pressure
Just because you make a decision to choose abstinence for your
sexual health doesn't mean others are going to support you in this.
Pressure can come from a partner (who may be used to getting sex)
or a friend (who doesn't want to be alone in his/her choice).
Pressure is never fun to handle, but there are some things you
can do to be prepared:
Set your standards and be firm. Make a personal decision to choose
abstinence and write down your goals for your future. Putting your
decision and plan in writing helps you to stick to it.
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Know what to say. Whether it is with straight talk or humor,
say what you mean. Here are some examples:
· I'm busy working on my reputation.
· If we ever go out again, please bring your self-control.
· Of course it's natural, so are germs.
Leave. This is a hard one. No one likes to loose a friend or
a love. Recognize that if someone doesn't respect your
choice, they do not truly care about you and may be in the
relationship or friendship forhis/herself.
Focus on Your Future
Choosing abstinence until marriage is a positive decision for
your mental and sexual health. It allows you to be free to
pursue your goals and plans without worry of disease,
heartache, or unplanned pregnancy. It also provides a
healthy start for faithfulness and self-control in a marriage.
Anyone can have sex, but it takes a person of discipline
and values to put sex in its right place--marriage.
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